Well, hey there.

So, lately all of my blogs have maily been blogs where I just vent. I am going to change that. I am just going to talk about college and how awesome its been in my first 5 weeks.

So, my roomie, Liz, is freaking AWESOME. She is super nice and we are alot alike. She is really funny too. Band is a ton of fun. I love going to the the football games. I've met a ton of new people at school. Its been rad. I have been getting pretty ballin on the ukulele, aaaand, i've just been having a good ole time; while keeping up with homework and such.

I have spent a few latenights at the library all ready working on french. Been late to class, slept through part of a class, class has been cancelled, had my phone go on in class and my teacher like my ringtone. And pretty much drank my weight in coffee. Its grand. I drink way too much coffee. I think I may be addicted. I tend to make my coffee and then forget it. So then I'll be falling asleep in class and then i will waste some of my DB dollars on an einsteins coffee, but its okay, cause that coffee is amazing.

We are on our 2nd half time show, 90s rock. Its pretty rad. I like it. We have these cool runs in our show. I officially hate being a mello. I am going to play something else next year, for reals. I hate the people in the section. They can all go sit in a freezer for a while. ....I really don't know where that came from.... But I mean, coming drunk or high to practice? Really? Really? I don't get it. Be a little professional. All the other sections seems to always have fun, but no, not the mellos, we have a crappy section leader and cliques within our section. I am playing trumpet. I am getting out of the mello section. For reals.

My classes are really easy. All they do is talk at me. So i just sit there and doodle on my notes since they put all the notes online. I should really be studying for my MIS midterm, but I've been studying for about an hour everyday on it...I'll study before I go to bed. SO MUCH STUDYING. HOLY GUACAMOLE. I knew there was going to be a lot of studying, but wow, I didn't think it was going to be this much. Oh well...I can handle it. It's really not that hard.

I bought a sweatshurt yesterday. I love it. It just saus University of Memphis on it. And its blue, but I love it. Its a nice sweatshurt. Yes, I spelled it "shurt." Just cause I didn't feel like changing it. So THERE !

yes. My shift button wasn't working for a second. It wouldn't let me capitalize "there." Whatajerk.

I just made more coffee. I need to stop ! but I'm up late studying, and it does keep me awake, so its good. I think i'ma go to Einstiens tonight after band, I wanted to go to the volleyball game...but no...all the spots were taken. I really hope I get to be in Road Band. It would be so much fun !

I audtitioned for pep band two weeks ago, havn't found out if im in it or not. It s a $1000 scholarship. I really hope I got it. I want to be in pep band. I like band. Just not the mellos. :P

Yesh. I havn't been writing in my journal since the cruise. Its bad. I feel like i am forgetting important events that have happened in my life.

OH! Tmrw is Up 'Til Dawn letter writing ! I am excited ! It will be fun. I am excited I get to help out with St. Jude and stuff. It shall be fun.
Yes.


well I should get back to my homework and get ready for band.........UGH


IMOUTIE.

What happened to 'natural beauty'?

Why the fuck does my sister think that the reason behind me being single is because I don't wear make up? What the fuck? I hate wearing make-up, I just wear mascara. I think I look weird in make up and trashy. I hate girls who wear the caked on make-up, cause basically, it makes you look like whore.

For real. Look at yourself. Thats not really you. I want a guy to like me for the person I really am, not the slut that has to hide behind the make up. I feel pretty without makeup, I don't need it to make me feel good about the way look or feel. I love who I am, but I hate having a, what most guys call "hot" sister. Shes a fucking pom girl whos skinny and has all the looks. Pretty much the girls I hated in high school. They were the ones that always had a guy and were always seen. I've always been the invisible one. No one ever notices me. I'm always forgotten. I'm always on the backburner; in the back of peoples minds, or not even in them. I'm the person that people won't remember from high school. I feel like I am an average Jane.

I really wish I didn't have a sister. I wish I was an only child, or at least I didn't have sister like the one I have now. I feel like I'm the younger naive sister. I feel like shes always there telling me what to do to get a guy. I don't want a fucking guy like the guys she has chasing after her cause shes "hot". I don't want to be "hot" I want to be pretty, or beautiful. Those are the true compliments.

Why has our generation become so shallow? All people want now is a "sexy" girl to take back to their room. They don't care about the personality to her. Nothing ever changes.

I come back everyweekend, and the more I come back, I dread seeing my sister. If it was just my mom and dad I would be fine. I could really careless about seeing my sister.

I know I'm pretty. I don't need fucking make-up to make me pretty. Its this thing called 'natural beauty' that make-up industries keep trying to get you to buy their "natural beauty" make-up thats supposed to make it look like you aren't wearing any make-up. Whats the point? why buy more make-up to cake on to make it look like you're not wearing any? I must not be a real girl, but where is the reasoning behind that?

I wash my face and all that, and all i really need to look good is long eyelashes, and i'm ready to go.

Fuck make-up.
Fuck trying to look "hot"
Aim for beautiful and pretty and finding a guy who will say those words to you instead of "Damn, you look hot" then you'll know you have found the best guy in the world.