It's so hard to make an impression on people when all they notice is how I am a little bit bigger than most people, and how they just don't remember me cause I never speak up or do anything that's worth remembering.
My biggest fear in the world is not being remembered. And I feel like I am going down the path of being forgotten. I feel like I havn't made an impression on anyone...yet.
I'm still young; I still have time to do this. But my 100 years left, doesn't seem long enough.
Everything I do, my sister seems to find a way to make me feel unoriginal, which is mainly why I feel this way. It's not easy have a younger sister who is on the pom team, has that pom girl body, is cute and attractive...and then theres me, the band geek, who never speaks up, doesn't know how to talk to boys, and is so scared to be going to college --even though its only 35 minutes away from home.
I know I am comfortable in my skin, I am happy about the way I am, but there are just points how I hate how it seems to hold me back from things i could do.
I mainly hate how people are incapable of accepting the way I am. They are unable to accept the fact that I am happy the way I am.
These losers need to get over themselves. Not everyone is one of the "beautiful people" And I hate how I sometimes feel like I have to live up to those standards.
Yeah....I'm totally contradicting myself...but I'm coming to realize, as I write this blog, that it doesn't matter how other people look at me, but how I look at myself.
And after this, through my tears, I feel comfortable and happy with how I am.
This past year has been a rough one, but it has taught me so much. It has taught me how I can only trust myself. And I need to take my heart off my sleve and put it on the shelf. The year has taught me who my true friends are, even if I have only been friends with them for a year. It has taught me how its okay to still act like a kid and play some hide and seek and freeze tag. It has taught me to be happy with the life I live and live it to the fullest.
I truly do love myself and everyone around me.
It just took this blog to show me.
Sorry for the crap at the start...but that crap showed me what is really great in life.
It's not what you look like, or how you act, its just about the people you meet and knowing that they like you for you, and not the way you look or what you do.
And I love that about my new awesome friends.
I guess this could be a thank you to you guys for just being there, even though we are all going to colleges far away, i know that i can just call you up if i need you.
what a crappy thank you haha, but it is worth something and is from the heart.
i love you all.
even the ones in st. louis.
thank youuu
IMOUTIE.
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